By the Light of Day
by Kallamae
Summary: An expansion of Cullen and the Inquisitor's "morning after" scene. A little bit of angst and some awkwardness all rolled into a big ball of fluff.


Karys slipped her foot into her boot and started lacing. She didn't want to sneak out. How would that look? But she didn't want to wake the man beside her either. Cullen got little enough sleep that she was loathe to interrupt any moment of rest he was able to steal.

She didn't want to leave at all. The appeal of crawling back into the bed was almost too great. Those damned meetings stopped her. Her own damned sense of responsibility. Every visiting noble had some sort of proclamation or proposal that absolutely had to presented to the Inquisitor in person. Some days she felt like ringing Josephine's neck.

Cullen murmured something in his sleep and his breathing hitched. Her fingers froze over her boot. "No." The murmuring took on shape. "No, no,no,no. Maker, please."

Boots abandoned, she laced her fingers with his and leaned to his ear. "You're in Skyhold, Cullen," she said softly. "You're safe. We're all safe. Everything's alright." His face twisted into a rictus of pain as his muttering dissolved into cries. "Cullen, love," she tried again. The endearment slipped from her mouth unnoticed. "You're safe in Skyhold. It's only a dream."

His hand contracted painfully tight around hers before he shot awake with a gasp. It wasn't until his head flopped back down onto his pillow that his grip loosened and his eyes focused on hers. "Just a nightmare," he said more to himself than her. With his free hand he tucked the loose hair back behind her ear before cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch. "Just a nightmare," he said again.

"Do you have them often?" She failed to keep the concern from her voice.

Cullen closed his eyes and exhaled before answering. "Every night," he confirmed. "They've gotten worse since I stopped taking lyrium."

Karys tried to keep her expression neutral. "I'm sorry," she said.

He brushed her cheek with his thumb and sat up. He would not let her claim unwarranted responsibility for this like she did too many other things. "It's not your fault."

"You tried to tell me what could happen. You said stopping the lyrium caused pain, but I didn't know you were suffering so much. I should have thought more about it. You said it could _kill_ you. I should have -"

"Not respected my decision?" His hand dropped from her face, but his thumb ran across the knuckles of the hand he still held.

"No," she answered immediately. Shaking her head, she sighed. "There's no easy answer to this, is there? I just don't want to have added to your suffering."

She looked away but he gently touched her chin and turned her head back. "You haven't." he said. "You've done the opposite, in fact."

"Really?" she asked with a raised brow. "That sounds exactly like something you'd say in an attempt to make me stop fretting."

He chuckled. "Fair point. But this time it's the truth." Morning light crept into his room and set a halo around Karys. A lovely, though obvious, sign he did not fail to notice. His hand slipped around to the base of her skull as he willed her to understand the sincerity in his eyes. His fingers wound themselves into her hair and he pulled her to him. Her lips yielded to his. Soft; perfect. Pulling back from the precipice of desire, he gently kissed her forehead. "I honestly haven't slept so well in a very, very long time," he said. "More often than not, the nightmares come in the middle of the night and I do not go back to sleep."

She smiled. "So, having me here helped?"

"An added bonus," he answered with his own smile. "But I would easily be willing to face far worse to wake up beside you." He didn't voice that he'd gladly take any nightmare that came after going to sleep so perfectly content.

Her face flushed. "Then we should do this again?" she asked hesitantly.

He frowned. "I- Of course. I thought- That is, I mean if you want-"

"Yes." The flush turned a deeper red on her cheeks. "I just didn't know if you...after-"

He exhaled a trapped breath. "I meant what I said. I would keep you here with me always if I could."

"Once this is over, once Corypheus has been defeated..."

"I will still be here," he assured her. "For as long as you want me," he amended.

"Forever," she blurted then laughed.

His brow furrowed. "What?"

"This." She spread her arms. "Us. Always dancing around the words. Since the moment we met. No wonder Varric laughs at us so much. We, both of us, can easily face down demons and ancient demented darkspawn, dragons and crazed cult mages, but suddenly become terrified when confronted with each other."

"No more?" he asked.

"No more," she agreed. "Cullen." She took his face in her hands. "I love you. You have to know that by now."

He took her hands and brought them to his lips. "I love you, too. Always," he added.

Their shared gaze was interrupted by a call up the ladder. "Commander?"

"One moment,"he called back. Hanging his head, he had to chuckle. "It really never ends."

She suppressed a laugh before sighing. "No, it doesn't seem to." She turned her attention back to her forgotten boot laces as Cullen began quickly pulling on layers of clothes and armor.

He was buckling on his sword belt as he observed, "At least he didn't completely interrupt this time."

"Progress," she agreed. "You know, they aren't nearly brave enough to burst into the Inquisitor's rooms."

"That," he said with a smirk, "is an excellent point." He kissed her quickly before moving to the ladder that led down into his office. "Later, then?"

She smiled behind the fingers that had drifted to her lips. "Yes, later," she agreed. As he disappeared down the ladder, she hugged her arms around herself and almost twirled like the young noble girl that still existed under the heavy mantle of years and titles.

The bells chimed the hour. "Shit," she mumbled and hurried off to the meetings for which she was undoubtedly late. Another bonus to her rooms, she thought as she ran across the walkway to the main hall, was that they were mere feet away from the throne.


End file.
